Middle School Coaches: A Guide to Survival

Coaching middle school students is a great combination of success and “what just happened.” As middle school students are dealing with friendships and how to manage them, bodies that are growing at different speeds, and brains that are not fully developed, the atmosphere changes from day to day or even hour to hour. As a coach of middle schoolers, there needs to be a game plan to survive the whiplash of moods that will surround this position.

More than one plan. Drills should be ready to go for practice. If there is some tension or friendship issues, then it is time to go to Plan B. The back-up plan is to make sure the players are moving and cheering each other on. If there is a drill with long lines, or learning a play and it is slow moving that involves standing around, there may be trouble. Drills that are slow or have explanations allow for students to begin talking about each other and rumors to start.

If that does not work, go to Plan C. This may be just playing the game in the form of a scrimmage. The players want to feel accomplished - as in a workout and worth their time. Some practices, depending how school went, are just about keeping the players moving.

Read the room (court or field). Before practice starts, look around. Identify who is uncomfortable and who is overly confident. As the middle school brain is still growing, sometimes the feeling each athlete has is not necessarily true to form. The shy, uncomfortable student might not be used to the growth of his or her body. Sometimes, that comes across as clumsiness. The overconfident player may not be all that great but talks a good game.

The job of the coach is to build up the uncomfortable player with true, direct words of encouragement. Do not give fake or vague “good jobs.” Be specific and detailed in the build-up. As for the overly confident player, be direct but kind. As he or she plays, guide the student to better form and give the reason why. Helping them both grow mentally will be a game-changer as future players.

Expect the unexpected – and move on. Seriously, so much is happening in a middle school body it is hard to comprehend as an adult (who has no recollection of ever going through it). Players who knew the play yesterday, may forget today. Someone may shoot at the wrong goal or basket. One of the players may fall, and yesterday he or she would have jumped up with a bloody lip and kept playing, but today that same student is crying and needs a break from practice.

When these things happen, acknowledge what happened and move on. Do not dwell, do not scream, do not over-analyze. Things happen, and in comparison to a middle schooler’s body, this is no big deal. The coach needs to model keeping things in perspective to keep things moving along.

Just enjoy the growth. Coaches need to embrace all the chaos. Find the good in each practice and in each player. Be available for the most traumatic story and listen with sincerity. These players are learning to be future adults. The coach gets to be one of the paths that will lead them to a positive light. Be there for them.

At the end of the day, breathe. Some days will be a whirlwind, and the coach may not have gotten through a single thing on the practice agenda. On those days, the coach will be thinking, “Did the players show up?” “Did they get a workout in?” “Did the practice end better than it started?” “Were you able to guide them toward the goals, even if they were not achieved?” “Were you the positive person they needed to see that day?”

If the coach can answer yes to any of these questions, then the practice was a success. Middle school coaches should have high expectations, but give themselves grace. Sometimes growing up is hard to do, and the sport they are in may be the avenue the players need to deal with everything they are not in control of – mood swings, mean friends, bodies growing and brains developing. Embrace all of it in such a way that you find enjoyment and fun.

Lisa Myran-Schutte, CMAA, has been an athletic/activities director at several schools in Minnesota, including Houston High School and Pine Island High School. She is a member of the High School Today Publications Committee.